Feedback. I need feedback. Continuously. I need it when I want it, and when I don’t.
- Without feedback, I continue operating from my blind spots, miss out on opportunities to improve my effectiveness, and possibly harm relationships.
- With feedback, I serve different individuals better, increase my understanding of what the core problem is, and guard against my shortcomings. With feedback, I can grow.
What about you? How do you feel about feedback? What happens when you don’t get feedback? What happens when you do?
Since I continuously need feedback, I pursue getting it by…
- Asking a question at the end of coaching sessions, consultations, and meetings: “To serve more effectively, what should I KeepStartStop doing?”
- Comparing what I learn (from reading, podcasts, and online classes) with what I do.
- Using daily, weekly, and quarterly previews to assess progress on my goals.
- Talking with a trusted advisor on a weekly basis.
- Doing weekly date night questions with my wife. We we ask each other questions, for example: What’s a recent win you’ve had? How can I serve you this week? What’s 1 thing you’re concerned about?
- Taking self-assessments like LifeScore, Working Genius (US$25), and Accidental Diminisher.
- Asking myself, “What’s the real challenge here for me?”
Like you, my goal is not to get feedback. My real goal is to grow in order to serve more effectively, in part by implementing feedback. Results for me include:
- Using a better balance of listening and talking.
- Establishing habits, like exercising 5 days a week and reading books more regularly.
- Adding tools (like Scout, Not Soldier and Radical Candor) to my toolbox.
- Using my LifeScore Assessment results (which address a variety of aspects of my life, not just my work) to establish goals that help me annually pursue my best year ever.
- Being more helpful around the house by sweeping the floors daily.
What about you? How do you feel about feedback? How do you get feedback? How do you use feedback?
Here’s what I’m learning from Effortless: Make It Easier to Do What Matters Most:
- “What if the biggest thing keeping us from doing what matters is the false assumption that it has to take tremendous effort? What if, instead, we considered the possibility that the reason something feels hard is that we haven’t yet found the easier way to do it?” (loc 351)
- “As our lives become increasingly busy, overwhelming, and fast-paced, it’s tempting to seek out easy instructions or methods that we can apply to a problem right away, without expending much mental energy. This is a mistake. Why? A method may be useful once, to solve one specific type of problem. Principles, however, can be applied broadly and repeatedly. At their best, they are universal and timeless” (loc 1913).
- “Mistakes are dominoes: they have a cascading effect. When we strike at the root by catching our mistakes before they can do any damage, we don’t just prevent that first domino from toppling, we prevent the entire chain reaction” (loc 2527).
P.S. Bonus! Here’s a list of 10 quotations from things I’ve read or listened to that contain the word feedback:
- “Without a doubt, one of the most important tools to develop in your organization is a consistent culture of feedback” (Giving and Receiving Feedback, Part 1).
- “Industrial Age leaders rely on making every decision, telling people what to do and how to do it, and micromanaging their direct reports. Knowledge Age leaders seek to empower people to make their own decisions, being open to feedback, and unleashing the talent of their direct reports towards the organization’s goals and priorities” (Unlocking Potential, loc 1005).
- “High-performing teams are nearly six times more likely to share reinforcing feedback than average teams” (Everyone Deserves a Great Manager, loc 1319).
- “…low-performing teams share nearly twice as much negative feedback as average-performing teams” (Everyone Deserves a Great Manager, loc 1320).
- “You (as the leader) set the tone for the feedback culture in your organization. Nothing affects your organization more than the executive leader’s willingness to seek and receive feedback” (Giving and Receiving Feedback, Part 2).
- “Here are four common ways managers cheat their team members: 1. Solving their problems…. 2. Micromanaging…. 3. Not giving honest feedback…. 4. Not having high enough expectations” (4 Ways Managers Cheat Their Employees).
- “..98% of employees will fail to be engaged when their managers offer little to no feedback. In fact, 65% of employees said they want more feedback” (Building Champions Podcast: 3.2 Feedback Phobia).
- “If you’re on the receiving end of someone else’s feedback, and you’re the boss, how you react in the split second someone starts to give you critical feedback is a crucial moment. Fly off the handle and you will set your relationship back months. Calmly listen and approach the situation with curiosity versus defensiveness. Don’t Get Mad, Get Curious, a handy little phrase coined by Fred Kofman in Conscious Business. Just keep saying that in your head. What does this mean? If you get deeply curious about the feedback you are receiving, it starts to feel more like a problem to solve. Humans like solving problems” (Radical Candor Podcast 3.4: Gauge the Feedback You’re Giving & Getting).
- “Having someone on our side who can provide context and honest feedback to us is like opening a gift” (Power of 3, loc 1705).
- “Remind yourself that feedback is a gift…. Ask for feedback 1-2 times per week…. Don’t get mad, get curious…. Schedule a time when you’re going to follow up” (Radical Candor Podcast Episode 16: Take Feedback Like a Boss).