Staff, what are 6 characteristics of healthy relationships with colleagues?

/ mkessenburg
I want staff to flourish in terms of healthy relationships. My deep hope is that staff are experiencing…
(1) Positive, collaborative, two-way communication with parents (see Construct: Parent Relationships, p. 15).
(2) Christ-centered colleagues who exhibit transparency, vulnerability, healthy conflict, commitment, accountability, and a focus on mission-centered results.
(3)Trustworthy, supportive, respectful, empowering Christ-centered leadership (see Construct: Supportive Leadership p. 15).
(4) Respectful appreciation of others’ cultural backgrounds.
(5) A living curriculum (leadership) that has healthy relationships with other leaders and staff.

This blog post focuses on #2 above.

Staff, get yourself and your colleagues experiencing healthy relationships! Why?

(1) Because God designed humans to flourish in community. Being alone wasn’t good for Adam even in a pre-Fall world (Gen. 2:18), and the interdependence of eyes, feet, and pancreas in a healthy body is a common metaphor for the people of God in the New Testament (Rom. 12:4-5, I Cor. 12:12-26, Eph. 4:1-5). 

(2) Because Jesus makes it possible for us to experience healthy relationships. We know what it is to be forgiven and to forgive; to love one another deeply, from the heart; and for the Spirit to produce his fruit in us.

(3) Because healthy relationships with colleagues strengthen and encourage us for our ministry of teaching. 

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

(4) Because as we talk about our experience and model healthy relationships, we become a winsome picture of redeemed community. And with that picture before them, our students will be more likely to understand, desire, and join that community that Jesus makes possible, and students will also be more likely to experience healthy relationships themselves, now and in the future. 

(5) Because if in our relationships with colleagues we are distant, perfunctory, inattentive, apathetic, conflict avoidant, non-committal, resentful, insecure, blaming, competitive, impatient, and/or envious, we will have less energy for our ministry of teaching, our students will miss out on a living picture of how Jesus changes relationships, and they will be less likely to have healthy relationships themselves.    

(6) Because getting yourself and your colleagues experiencing healthy relationships is a best practice (see Why Every Teacher Needs to Be Part of a Teaching Community).

What are 6 characteristics of healthy relationships with colleagues? What comes to mind for me is:

(1) Transparency: This means being frank, honest, and forthright instead of ambiguous, calculating, or unclear. Transparency is crucial in international schools where multiple cultures interacting can increase the probability of assumptions, miscommunication, and misunderstanding leading to confusion, violated expectations, unnecessary conflict, and hurt (The Culture Map). 

(2) Vulnerability: This means being willing to say I was wrong, forgive me, I don’t know, I need help, I made a mistake, I’m having a tough day, I got some bad news this morning and I’m a little distracted, I hadn’t thought of it that way, I’m confused, I’m learning, that didn’t go so well, I’m trying something new and it’s a little bit scary (Brene Brown: How Vulnerability Can Make Our Lives Better, The Power of Vulnerability).

(3) Healthy conflict: This isn’t a vote (with one party asserting their will and another acquiescing to preserve the peace) or open hostility and defensiveness. Healthy conflict requires reciprocal respect, true curiosity about differences of opinion, and a desire to learn. Healthy conflict says, “I sense you have a different perspective on this. I really want to know what it is. I think we’re going to learn something and come up with an even better idea.” 

Photo by Mapbox on Unsplash

(4) Commitment: Commitment is our promise to show up for each other and to do our best. So, I’ll call that parent. I’ll read that article. I’ll offer choice on that assessment. I’ll return those papers by Friday. Commitment requires attentiveness, self-discipline, persistence. 

(5) Accountability: Accountability is how we support and depend on each other’s commitment. We share our goals and check in with one another because we know we are stronger together. We offer encouragement, empathy, experience, and advice. We don’t shift blame, gossip, or complain. 

(6) A focus on mission-centered results: Accomplishing the mission is the main thing, and we keep the main thing the main thing. 

So, for example, we regularly talk about our mission and expected student outcomes with colleagues in the hallways, over lunch, and during meetings. We talk about: 

  • What results would show we are achieving our mission and expected student outcomes. Talking helps us celebrate!
  • How our courses, special events, extra-curricular activities, policies and procedures, instructional strategies, assessments, and daily lessons contribute to achieving our mission-centered results. 

Here are some related resources:

What about you? Why is it important to you to experience healthy relationships with colleagues? What are 6 characteristics of healthy relationships with colleagues? What will you do to help yourself and your colleagues experience healthy relationships?

Get flourishing!

Kim