What 7 things should you give up on right now?

/ mkessenburg

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Give up. That’s right. Give up. Actually quit. Just give up on those things that are holding you back from flourishing. That’s what Byron Morrison says in his book Maybe You Should Give Up: 7 Ways to Get Out of Your Own Way and Take Control of Your Life. 

So let me ask you, “What are some things you’re glad you’ve given up on?”  My list includes:

  • Thinking I can be in shape without regular exercise—I now regularly stretch, lift weights, and walk. Feeling better!
  • Tolerating not fully using my strengths—I’m glad in my work as coach/consultant, I can fully use my strengths. Wonderful!
  • Using traditional work hours—I now use flexible work hours, monitoring my energy and my results, instead of monitoring time. Love it!

Going forward, what are 7 things you should give up on that are getting in the way of you flourishing? To prime the pump, here are the 7 things Morrison says we should give up on:

(1) “[B]eing reactive” (p. 3). He notes that “once you’ve given up on being reactive, and you’ve recognized that you and you alone are responsible for creating results in your life, you’ll be empowered to take the action you didn’t think you were capable of before” (p. 31).

(2) “[L]etting fear control you” (p. 31). “Fear reinforces all of the mental barriers in your head, creating stories that cause you to procrastinate, overthink and doubt yourself, which in turn stop you from doing the things you know you should be doing to live or create the life you want” (p. 32). Morrison discusses 3 big fears (failure, success, and rejection/judgment) and how reframing can help us overcome them. 

(3) “[S]hort-term thinking” (p. 53) that negatively impact the long-term—“the small decisions you make today can and will impact your future for years to come. And most of the small decisions we make today are designed to make us feel good in the short-term—often at the expense of success in the long-term” (p. 55).

(4) “[F]ixating on the future as either a scary place where everything will go wrong or a heavenly place that will solve all your problems for you” (p. 72). Morrison adds, “If you want to find joy in your achievements and appreciate the journey, then you have to give up on fixating on the future. That’s the only way you will be able to fully enjoy the present” (p. 86).

(5) “[C]omparing yourself to others” (p. 87). Morrison encourages the reader to “make a decision about what’s actually important in the life you want to live, and from today, start living it. Because when you give up on comparing yourself to others and their achievements, that’s when you’ll finally be able to build a life that you are happy with” (p. 108).

(6) “[B]eing so hard on yourself” (p. 111) which “manifests in four major ways: trying to be perfect, dismissing your progress, judging your worth only by your success and taking criticism personally” (p. 113).

(7) “[P]utting off happiness” (p. 131). Says Morrison, “Don’t set yourself up for a life-long regret. Give up on putting off your happiness by being the best version of yourself you can be and live life with intention right now” (p. 147).

Which of Morrison’s 7 things might you want to include in your list of 7 things to give up on? I want to consider giving up on #4 (fixating on the future) and #7 (putting off happiness).

Photo by RDNE Stock project

Keep thinking about 7 things you should give up on. To further prime the pump, here are 29 more things to give up on:

(A) Give up 4 negative mindsets: fixed, closed, prevention, and inward (see Success Mindsets).

(B) Give up on tolerating 5 hindrances to flourishing: passionless purpose, fragile ill-being, unhealthy relationships, transformationless learning, and unhelpful resources (see 5 Elements of Flourishing).

(C) Give up 7 negative habits: being reactive, working without goals, focusing on unimportant things, using an “I win/you lose” approach, seeking first to be understood, working alone, and neglecting self-care (see The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People).

(D) Give up on 8 obstacles to a flourishing workplace culture: fractious teams, life-draining work, mediocre staff, stagnation, unrewarding compensation, uninspiring leadership, unsustainable strategy, and unhealthy communication (see The 8 Drivers of a Flourishing Workplace Culture).

(E) Give up on 5 things that cause team dysfunction: absence of trust, fear of conflict, lack of commitment, avoidance of accountability, and inattention to results (see The Five Dysfunctions of a Team).

So, what are 7 things you should give up on right now that are getting in the way of you flourishing? Here’s my list:

(1) Fixating on the future. I want to be more present in the moment so that I have more joy in my journey and in my progress. 

(2) Putting off happiness. Again, I need to be more present in the moment.

(3) Using a closed mindset when I’m stressed—it isn’t OK, it frustrates people, and it doesn’t help me have healthy relationships.

(4) Unhelpful resources. Instead, I’ve begun creating the helpful resources: 

(5) Working alone. As an introvert who works remotely, I enjoy alone time. I find working by myself helpful—however, working alone does not produce synergy. Time to do more collaborating!

(6) Life-draining work. I want to find ways to do more life-giving work.

(7) Thinking I can handle 60-minute morning meetings. This makes my morning too crowded, so I’m now working to limit meetings to 45 minutes.

Photo by Prateek Katyal

What are you going to do? I’m giving up on using a closed mindset when I’m stressed.

Here are some resources related to giving up, stopping, quitting:

What about you? How do you feel about giving up? What are some things you’re glad you’ve given up on? Which of Morrison’s 7 things might you want to give up on? What are 7 things you should give up on right now that are getting in the way of you flourishing? What are you going to do?

Get flourishing!

Michael